Comfortably Numb

Today, I am going through the motions of life. I wake up, go through my routine, and now I find myself writing in this journal. But I feel distant from myself, as if I am watching my own life from afar. I am not unhappy, but I am not happy either. I am comfortably numb. This state of mind has been with me for some time now. I go to work, come home, and read. Everything feels empty and meaningless. I have no excitement for anything, and no motivation to try new things. I am just existing, like a machine programmed to repeat the same actions each day. My life has become a blur of monotonous days, blending into one another. Even the things I used to look forward to, like the weekends, now feel dull and unimportant. I try to remind myself of the good things in my life, the things I am grateful for. But even those things do not bring me joy. I have a good job, a loving family, and great friends. But none of it seems to matter. It is irrelevant.

In a way, I quite like this numb state. I do not feel the weight of emotions, the stress of my responsibilities, or the pain of my existence. I am completely detached. I go through the motions without being present, without having to engage with the world, and without the mental gymnastics of deciphering contradictory reality. The absence of engagement promotes a completely numb state of existence. The discomfort and vulnerability of the world are absent, for the world is nonexistent.

In this numb state, I do not have to worry about the chaos and confusion of the world around me. I do not have to deal with the constant demands and expectations of others. I do not have to struggle with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. Instead, I can exist in a peaceful and serene bubble, where nothing can disturb me or upset me. I do not have to feel anything, and I do not have to think about anything. I can simply let go and drift along, without any worries or cares. It is like floating on a cloud, free from the weight of the world. It is not a perfect existence, but it is a comfortable one. The way to escape the pain and stress of being fully conscious and aware is to not be. Blissful apathy promotes peace and tranquility, as the chaotic and unpredictable world ceases to exist.